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If you’re like us, you’d probably hoped to never again hear the words “Mama June Shannon” in that order.

Well unfortunately, she’s back in the headlines, and while the latest from the Here Comes Honey Boo Boo matriarch isn’t quite as awful as when June was dating the man who molested her daughter, it still might put you off your lunch:

Yes, all last week we were bracing ourselves for a June Shannon sex tape.

The sadists over at Vivid Entertainment reportedly offered June and her baby daddy Sugar Bear upwards of a $1 million to do it on camera, because that’s the world we live in now.

Thankfully June says she won’t do porn for “a zillion dollars.” We don’t want to know if she thinks that’s a real number or not:

“I have more respect for myself and my kids and my family,” June said of the offer from Vivid Entertainment. “It ain’t happening. Not even for a zillion dollars.”

Of course, the real reason we’re happy that June didn’t seal the deal isn’t because she and Sugar bear aren’t exactly the most boner-inducing couple, but because we’re not too keen on living in a world where dating a child molester is the ticket to seven-figure earning power.