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Obsessive weirdos of the Internet, rejoice!

When your first learned that Ryan Gosling got Eva Mendes pregnant, you considered watching The Notebook on repeat until you simply wasted away.

Now it looks like they might be breaking up, which we imagine is like the celebrity gossip equivalent of finding out that girl who picked on you in middle school went bald.

“It’s more than just run-of-the-mill stress that comes with having a newborn,” a source tells OK! magazine. “They’re barely talking. Eva has pushed him away.”

Yes, several insiders claim Gosling and Mendes are breaking up and the Internet reaction has been predictably gross.

There’s a baby involved here, people! Sure, it’ll grow into an wealthy, impossibly gorgeous adult, but that doesn’t mean little Esmeralda doesn’t deserve to grow up with both wealthy, impossibly gorgeous parents in her life.

To make matters worse, Eva reportedly wants sole custody:

“Eva has been the primary hands-on parent, with Ryan working away so much,” says the source. “She believes full custody is warranted.”

But hasn’t she seen all the memes? Women who have never met this guy love him, so he can’t be bad! How you gonna play him like that, girl?