If you watched True Tori Season 2 Episode 1 last night, you have our condolences. If not, well...you'll just have to take our word for it that everything you're about to read actually happened on what's quickly becoming our favorite show to hate-watch:
First, Dean admitted he masturbated to Tori when he was a lonely Canadian teen and she was on 90210. Gross, but not even in the top ten grossest things Dean has done.
Then, Tori finally saw a photo of Emily Goodhand. Naturally, Tori declared Dean's mistress totally ugg-o, but we'll never know because the audience didn't get to see the pic.
This could be because Emily is a sane individual who regrets letting Dean sweat all over her every day and simply wants to put the whole ugly, probably smelly incident behind her.
More likely, however, is that Emily is an imaginary mistress invented by Tori and Dean to add drama to their scripted sh-tshow.
The episode concluded with a preview of next week's installment in which Tori reads a letter from Dean to his ex-wife and is totally disgusted that he was in love with her when they were married.
Again, this is the sort of thing that pisses her off?!
Sadly, if you watch the show in hopes that Tori will eventually come to her senses and leave Dean, you may want to give up hope. At this point, it's pretty clear that's never gonna happen.